"He Now Knows...." I am now free to write...

"He".. Meaning "idiot".. I refer to idiot as my "ex" or my soon-to-be-ex.

What does he know?... That my breast cancer has come back in my spine and my lungs. I now have Stage 4 cancer. I am a single mother to three children, ages, 9 1/2 , 5 1/2, and 3 yrs. I am struggling with the fact daily with the fact that I now have an illness that is not curable. It is my hope that I live to see my kids grow up. Today Farrah lost her fight with cancer, it frightens me that the same might happen to me someday. Until then.. I will continue to fight and live.

I have lived in fear for the past six weeks, concerned that if idiot found out he would try to sue for full custody of the kids in an attempt to lower his child support(relocating to where he now lives an hour away) and secondly... he would a take it upon himself to tell the kids. Well, so far he did tell so far he acted out one of my fears..so I guess after 13 years of marriage I know him fairly well. He told the kids.

I reassured them that all this means for now is that I need lots of x-rays. I did tell them there would be days when the medicine would make me tired but for now, my hair would not be falling out... and if it should I would tell them before it does. They were okay with this since they have seen me loose all of my hair before. The day after I explained this, I took them to California Adventure.. so I doubt they considered me very sick.

So from this point forward, I write.. my fears, my joys, my laughs, my tears, my pain, my loss, etc , etc, etc... Join me on my journey living life having cancer with a side of kids!